Title: My Desire
Author: Aprilmoon
Email: Aprilmoon08@yahoo.com
Pairing: Glorfindel/Erestor
Rating: NC-17 (I think)
Warnings: AU. Do I write anything but AU?
Disclaimer: They all belong to Tolkien.
Beta's: None
A/N: Just something I wrote up a loooooong time ago, and since it has
been so quiet I thought I would put it out. And yes, I am working on Taming.
Feedback: Yes please, and I am over my diva moment, so it is not
necessary.



Glorfindel had just come in from having an extremely long day, and all
he wanted to do was take a hot bath and to go to sleep. Forget about
food, he would be lucky if he didn't end up drowning himself in the
bath he was so tired. As he made his way to his chambers he had
encountered his Lord who was inquiring about Erestor. Everyone had
been a little concerned when Glorfindel and Erestor started their
relationship.

He had been more than a little upset at the fact everyone was more
concerned with Erestor than himself. He was then told by Elrond that
Erestor was just more likely to get hurt than Glorfindel was. Right,
if he remembered quite clearly it had been Erestor who had ended up
breaking his heart more than once, and with more than one elf, not
excluding Elrond himself, and then Celeborn. Soon afterwards he had
broken it off with the Counselor. He would be no one's fool, no matter
how important they were in the household. No amount of begging or
pleading from Erestor the last time would sway him one way or the other.

It was over and he felt so empty, but he knew it was better this way.
If he had to he could be just as cold as the Erestor could on any day
of the week. And that is how it had been every sense. He had not ever
taken another lover the pain was still raw to the touch. He had
thought of taking someone to anger the one's responsible, but what
would that prove? Nothing. He would love again one day, but not now.
He would wait until that one special person would enter his life. The
thing was that special person had already entered his life, and his
name was Erestor, and no one would take the place that he had once
reigned for so long.

"Is everything well my friend? I was concerned when Erestor didn't
come to a meeting today. It is very unlike him to be so preoccupied,"
Elrond said with a concerned tone.

"You would know better than I Elrond what is wrong with Erestor. Does
he not go to your bed on a regular basis? I will say I am surprised
that Celebrian does not mind. And if I remember quite well we stopped
being friends a long time ago." Glorfindel decided add.

Elrond just stopped and looked at Glorfindel. He could not believe
what he had just heard. He understood Glorfindel's pain for it had
been Glorfindel that had found Erestor between Elrond and Celebrian on
that fateful night. He had found them in a very compromising position
with the Counselor, and to say that Glorfindel had been angry was a
serious understatement.

"I understand your feelings about what happened long ago Glorfindel,
but you should let it go. It is in the past and if you truly loved
Erestor you would forgive him, and everyone involved."

"Never again will I trust any of you. What is it that you need My
Lord? Do you need me to find the royal pet? Did you look in the twin's
room? He could be sandwiched between them."

"Glorfindel I am truly sorry," he said with remorse to his voice.

"I don't believe you. I will find him. Where was the last place you
looked?"

"We haven't checked outside of the house yet. And before you say it we
did check the room, and the twins haven't seen him either."

Glorfindel closed his eyes for a moment, and tried to think of where
Erestor might go. I think I might know where he has gone. "Give me a
few minutes and I will go looking for him."

"Thank you Glorfindel for your help."

Elrond stood a few seconds more in Glorfindel's presence before
turning and leaving quickly. Glorfindel watched as he left wondering
what it was that had attracted Erestor to Elrond's and others to his
and their beds. He would never know, and quite frankly he just didn't
care anymore. He walked into his room and looked at the inviting bed.
He then looked out the window where he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt
where Erestor would be, and then made his decision. He went to bed.

Let the Counselor fight the elements for himself. He had put himself
in harms way, so why should he be the one to go and get him? And
anyway it was probably some plan for Glorfindel to go and find
Erestor, and then he says he is sorry for what he has done, and then
they would have make-up sex, and then get back together. Not this time
he thought.

Glorfindel went to wash up a bit, and then right before he was about
to lay down a thunderstorm broke out. He listened to the pouring of
the rain, and thought of the elf he still loved dearly. He would hope
that if the tables had been turned would Erestor come looking for him.
The answer to that was quite simply it would have been no. As much as
he didn't want to go out and find Erestor he needed to. He would just
have to hate himself in the morning for saving the one who had taken
his heart and stomped and spat on it before everyone to see. He had
felt so much more betrayed than he ever thought possible, and still he
loved him. He had hoped that one day his heart would be numb to the
Counselor, and he would never feel another awakening of his soul when
he appeared.

Glorfindel got up and then dressed himself quickly in very warm
clothes before leaving the chamber in search of the elusive Counselor.
He walked down the halls, out to the front of the house, down the
stairs and then to the stables. He placed the bridle on his horse
Asfaloth and didn't even bother with the saddle. He quickly left
heading in the direction that he knew Erestor would have gone and made
his way quickly to the very spot. All the time he was riding to the
Counselor he felt that he was riding into a trap of a lovers tryst. If
that was the case oath or not he was leaving Imladris and going to
Greenwood. He would not be made a fool any longer.

He had finally made his way to his destination and lo and behold there
was the Counselor sleeping inside a small cave. Glorfindel jumped off
on Asfaloth and made quick time to the sleeping Counselor. He looked
around to see if there had been any signs of a lovers meeting, and
when he was pretty sure there had not been Glorfindel went over and
unceremoniously woke him up.

"Erestor wake up. Everyone is worried about you. You need to come back
to the house now."

Erestor slowly opened his eyes and looked at his former lover. He was
slowly starting to get up when all of a sudden he was yanked up by his
arm. Glorfindel had noticed that there was something odd about
Erestor's behavior. Not that yanking Erestor up by the arm was not the
first clue, but that Erestor seemed to be moving very slowly like he
had been hurt or wounded.

"What is wrong Erestor? Are you not feeling well? If you are not I do
apologize for manhandling you."

"Nothing, I am alright. I just feel a little sick to my stomach and a
very odd right now."

"Come Erestor we must get back. The others are worried about you,"
Glorfindel said with a bit of concern to his voice.

"Are you not concerned for me?" Erestor looked up at Glorfindel with
pain in his eyes. I know that you do not believe me, but for what it
is worth nothing ever happened with them. I did not sleep around while
I was with you. I loved you then as I still do now.

"I just can't believe you Erestor. I saw you with them more than once,
and you even had the gall to laugh at me once. What does that say
about your character?" Glorfindel was going from concerned to angry in
a very short amount of time, and the memories were not helping at all.

"It was that one time Glorfindel, and I was under the understanding
that we were not together together. I am most sorry. I never wanted to
hurt you ever. I truly do love you. Please forgive me. " By this time
when Glorfindel looked Erestor was crying. He could see the glistening
tears run down his face like tiny waterfalls. Gods, how he still
loved. He just wanted to hold him close and make all the pain
disappear. Could he love him again? Could he forgive him for all the
things that had come between them? He knew he could, but would he
truly want to?

Glorfindel looked at Erestor and without warning grabbed him and
pulled him into his arms and kissed him. Erestor had never felt so
good, smelled so good, or tasted so good, and he was in Glorfindel's
arms again. And that was all that mattered at that very moment.

As much as he wanted to be mad at Erestor he couldn't. He loved him so
much and he knew that he would have fallen for the dark elf once more.
He knew that the walls he would build would crumble and fall with one
look, one touch, or one whispered word of love. He knew that was his
weakness and he would not have it any other way.


Glorfindel looked down into Erestor's silver grey eyes and felt
completely lost in their depths. He just wanted to look at the
beautiful creature that he held within his arms, and tried to find a
reason for deceit within the orbs of silver. But he found none. He
only found the love that he so clearly wanted from the one who had
held his heart from the very first moment of their meeting. He knew
now that he had lost his heart once again to his betrayer.

"I want you Erestor, but if I come back to you and you to me, I want
no secrets between us. I want you to bind yourself to me as I want to
bind myself to you. I want no one to come between us ever. I want us
to be one."

Erestor just looked at Glorfindel and started to cry harder. He had
wanted this so much for so long, and now he would have his hearts
desire. Erestor raised his left hand and caressed Glorfindel's soft
cheek. How he loved the feel of Glorfindel and all that he was, and
all of what he would ever be. He just loved Glorfindel and knowing
that he had hurt the one he had loved for so long broke his heart even
more. But now Glorfindel wanted to bind with him, and that was the
best feeling of all. That would help mend his broken heart.

Only one word could escape his lips at this time and it was "yes."

"I just want to know Erestor. I want to know why all that had to
happen? Why did I have to spend so much time being an angry fool and
not being able to love you? Please tell me because I would like to
know," Glorfindel said softly.

"Because I was a fool, and because I was with your child and was
afraid that you would not want us in your life," Erestor said with a
sadden voice.

Glorfindel was quite surprised at the admission for a couple of
reasons. For one, he didn't know that Erestor could have children, and
the second was that he didn't realize that Erestor was anything but a
male. This had taken him back a bit, but he would need to explore this
a bit more to truly understand what was going on.

"I was afraid that you would reject me for what I am. I was scared to
tell you, and I thought if you believed me to be a whore than it would
be better if you left me that way. Elrond and Celebrian and I were
never lovers. What you saw was him calming my nerves. I wasn't feeling
well that night and they let me sleep in their bed with them. He only
sees me as a son. He would never do anything improper. Lord Celeborn
and I were not doing anything as well. He was helping me with some
things when he fell and then you walked in and would not let me
explain. As for the one you did find me with I am sorry. That was
wrong of me. I know that we had started to see each other, but I was
not under the impression we were being exclusive. I was just scared
that you would only want me, if you did, out of obligation to the
child. You never knew because I didn't want you to know. I was always
the one to make sure that you were inside me remember?" Erestor had
shifted out of Glorfindel's embrace and sat down on the hard earth. He
gently rubbed his stomach that Glorfindel just looked at with awe.

He leaned over and with a question to his look asked Erestor if he
could touch his stomach. Erestor nodded and Glorfindel felt his child
kick for the first time.

"I do wish you would have had more faith in me than that. All of this
could have been avoided. All the heartache and the words and the
broken friendships, but that is in the past now and we can go forward.
Is there anything else you want to tell me? You are not a fairy are
you?" Glorfindel said with a cheeky grin.

Erestor just smiled back to his lover. "Nay, I am no fairy or anything
else of magic. I am just Erestor. You're beloved."

Glorfindel just smiled and pulled Erestor close. He never wanted this
feeling to end. He took his dagger out of his boot and took Erestor's
hand. Making a shallow cut in Erestor's hand and then in his own, he
turned to Erestor to speak his vow.

"I Glorfindel of Imladris take thee, Erestor, to be my bonded mate. I
will take no other to my heart, my soul, or to my bed."

"I Erestor of Imladris take thee, Glorfindel, to be my bonded mate. I
will take no other to my heart, my soul, or to my bed."

They placed their palms together as they spoke their vows to the
other, and sealed their union with a kiss. When they pulled away from
the gentle kiss Glorfindel picked up his new mate, and called for
Asfaloth to come over. He placed Erestor on top of the warhorse and
swung himself behind him for the two to go home. He motioned for his
horse to take the two of them home and at a quick pace.

When they arrived Elrond was waiting on the front steps with a worried
expression etched upon his brow. Glorfindel motioned Asfaloth to a
full stop and dismounted first so that he could make sure that Erestor
did not hurt himself. Erestor waited for Glorfindel to give him
reassurance that it was okay to dismount, and then slid off the horse
into Glorfindel's waiting arms. The stable boy came over and took the
reins and led the horse off to the stables to be dried, brush and feed.

Glorfindel picked Erestor up in his arms once again and proceeded to
take the two of them to Glorfindel's chambers without a single word to
their Lord. Once back in Glorfindel chambers he took Erestor's clothes
off and then his own, and settled the two into the warm bed for a long
rest.


~ Later on in the wee hours of the night~


Glorfindel got up and made his way quickly to Elrond's chambers. He
was most worried for he had never seen Erestor in this much pain. All
he kept saying to himself as he made his way to Half Elven's chambers
were `never again' and `if it is a girl or boy I don't care'. He came
upon the door and pounded until he heard the door open, and with one
look conveyed the message that he needed. Elrond just nodded and
grabbing his night robe followed Glorfindel, who was also followed by
Celebrian, to Glorfindel's chambers.

As much as he didn't want to have to wait outside his rooms he did.
And waited, and he waited some more until Elrond came out to tell him
to come in. He was extremely worried for he had heard no cry of his
child and the last scream that Erestor had released had made
Glorfindel's blood run cold. Elrond gave him a warm smile and bid him
to come in and meet his new family.

Glorfindel walked in a seeing his tired lover laying against a pile of
pillows and holding a small bundle in his arms. He walked over to the
bed and gentle lowered himself onto the bed next to Erestor.

In a very tired voice Erestor said "come and meet your new daughter.
She looks just like you. I am sorry I didn't give you a son."

Glorfindel kissed Erestor and looked at the little bundle in the most
gentle and softest voice said to his beloved, "you have given me a
most precious gift today my love. You and our child, and do not be
sorry that you did not give me a son for daughters are just as
precious and welcomed."

Erestor just smiled and cuddled into Glorfindel's arms. Glorfindel
watched as Erestor fell asleep, and their child soon followed. He
looked up at Elrond and mouthed the words `thank you my friend.'

Elrond smiled and left the new little family. When he walked out of
the room Celebrian was giving him the look. "This could have been
avoided if you had just said something."

"I know but it was Erestor's decision, and I know what you are going
to say about that as well. They both needed to let go of their pride
before they could heal, and anyway they are together and we now have
another Glorfindel on our hands. She looks just like him."

Celebrian just shook her head, rolled her eyes and let out a sign
before saying, "Males. You can't live with them and you can't live
without them. What is one to do?"

Before he could say another word she grabbed his arm and dragged him
back to their chambers. The next day Glorfindel announced the birth of
their most precious daughter Elanor to the whole of Imladris, and set
forth a celebration of her birth.

The Last Homely House celebrated the new member of Imladris,
friendships were renewed and strengthened, and the new wedded couple
love was strengthened and rejoiced. Glorfindel never let his pride or
his anger control him again where Erestor was concerned, and Erestor
never let his fears stand between them again.

END