Title: Rock a bye Slayer
Author: Aprilmoon
Email:Aprilmoon08@yahoo.com
Pairing: Glorfindel/Erestor
Rating: G-NC-17
Warnings: Get ready to laugh your behind off, and do not drink or eat
anything with this chapter. Not responsible for choking if you do not
heed warnings.
Disclaimer: They all belong to Tolkien.
Summary: Be careful of what you do in life.
Beta's: Vesta


Elrond had been enjoying a pleasant evening in his chambers when all
of a sudden he heard his Captain banging on his chamber door. Elrond
jumped up wondering what could have brought Glorfindel to his chambers
in such a state. The twins had been away hunting down orcs for the
past two months and Elrond wondered if they had returned, and returned
injured at that. Now he was in a panic. Elrond flung open the door to see his
Seneschal standing there in a disheveled and panicked state.

"What is wrong Glorfindel? Is it the twins? Have they returned hurt or
injured?" He said in a panicked tone.

"Nay My Lord it is Erestor. It is time."

Glorfindel looked as if he was about to lose his mind. He was in such
a state of panic and worry that he looked like a crazed wild animal.
This was their first child, and probably their last. Erestor had been
having a hard pregnancy that Elrond had to finally confine him to bed.
Erestor was most displeased, but grateful for being released of his
duties. He had not been feeling well at all, and both he and
Glorfindel were scared about losing the baby, that Erestor complied
with his Lords wishes. It was lucky for them that Lord Celeborn was
visiting. Lord Celeborn had decided to visit Elrond and his
grandchildren, and when he heard about Erestor, and he decided to stay
and help Elrond out until Erestor could return to his duties.

The two elves ran down to Erestor's and Glorfindel's chambers. Elrond
could smell the scent of blood, and knew without a shadow of a doubt
that Erestor was starting to birth at that very moment. The two elves
ran into the rooms and then into the bedroom where Erestor was. Elrond
could not believe his eyes at what he was seeing. Erestor was birthing
that very moment.

He was crying and moaning at the pains that wracked his body.
Elrond turned to say something to Glorfindel and noticed that his
Seneschal had turned an interesting shade of green, swayed and then
without warning collapsed onto the floor.

Elrond looked down and noticed that when Glorfindel hit the floor he
was out cold. Erestor wailed under a new wave of pain, and the baby
was crowning. He raced over to Erestor to help him for Glorfindel
could wait.

When Erestor had been given a moment's reprieve from the pain he looked
up, licking his dry lips and trying to gain a little control over his
breathing, and said to Elrond, "Where is Glorfindel? He is supposed
to be here."

"He is my friend. He just passed out." You would think someone who
sees blood all the time would have no trouble with his expectant
child. Elrond could hear Erestor start to cry. Erestor was having
enough trouble dealing with the fact that he was pregnant, had been
shunned by his family for taking on a male lover and having his child,
and now his mate passing out on him. He was going to make sure
something good would come out of this for Erestor.

All of a sudden he heard something come out of Erestor that he never
thought he would. "Damn it Glorfindel get up. I am not having this baby
on my own you selfish bastard. No lying down on the job. You were the
one to get me in this predicament, you better help. You owe me big
time," Erestor shouted as he threw a pillow at him.

Glorfindel started to stir a little, and then he started to get up.
His mouth went dry when he looked up and the first thing he saw was Erestor's
legs wide up and everything else as well. He could not believe what he was seeing. His child was coming forth, and he felt a new wave of nausea assault him.

He could not believe he was watching his child come out of his
beloved's body. Had he known males could birth he might have taken
extra precautions in that department.

Erestor started screaming and he also started calling Glorfindel every
cursed name in Elvish, Weston, Dwarfish, and a few choice ones he made
up. Glorfindel knew not to take it seriously for Celebrian had called
Elrond some pretty interesting names that they all didn't realize she
knew. Glorfindel picked himself up off the floor and moved over to
Erestor's side. He grasped his beloved's hand, and then decided that
maybe that had not been such a great idea. With
each contraction Erestor squeezed his hand with all of his might
making Glorfindel scream himself.

"I was wondering my love? Do you want another?" He said with a great
deal of concern to his voice.

All Erestor could say through gritted teeth, "no fucking way."

"Erestor," Elrond said with all signs of anger to his voice.

"I am sorry My Lord. It just hurts so much. Is there anything you can
do to kill him? I mean the pain?" Erestor groaned under another wave
of pain. He hurt so much and right now the only thing that he wanted
was for this child to be out of him, and to kill Glorfindel. First the
baby, then to take care of Glorfindel and he was going to make it as
painful as possible that it would make the first death feel like
sunshine.

"No. You are too far dilated now. I can not give you anything." Elrond
looked over at a very shocked Chief Advisor.

"What do you mean you cant give me anything? This isn't fair, he
screamed. He looked over at Glorfindel who decided to quickly add,
"You wanted a drug free birthing not me."

Erestor just glared at him. "I don't like you anymore."

Elrond leaned over to Glorfindel and whispered, "Just wait until the
little one wakes the two of you up in the middle of the night and
wants to be changed sixteen times."

Glorfindel just paled right before Erestor gave out one more scream,
and crushed his hand once more sending Glorfindel down to his knees.
Elrond told Erestor to push once more, and they would be finished.
Erestor did as he was told and pushed as hard as he could one last
time. He could feel the shoulders push out followed by the little
body. Elrond cut the umbilical cord and pulled the tiny body from
Erestor's womb. Erestor fell into Glorfindel's arms while Glorfindel
kissed his damp hair and spoke sweet endearments to him.

"What is it my Lord?" Glorfindel asked right before he passed out.

"You have a..."

########################################

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!"
Glorfindel woke up screaming whilst he entangled himself further into
the sheets.

"Glorfindel, my sweet, what is it my love?" Erestor said in a panicked
tone.

Every since dinner Erestor had been concerned with Glorfindel. They
had been bonded for over two thousand years, and this was the first
time that anything like this had happened. The nightmares had ceased
once the two of them had come together as lovers, then bond
mates. Erestor smiled when he thought about that day long ago, and
then the smile seem to fade as he realized how long they had been
together. Two thousand very looooong years and Erestor had to shake
his head to bring himself back to the present.

Glorfindel tried to get out of the sheet and only managed to get
himself more tied up than he already was. He tried rolling to the side
to disengage himself from the sheet and the only thing he did was roll
himself onto the floor with a thud sounding inside the bedchamber. He
had finally managed to rid himself of the demon sheet, shot up off the
floor, and grabbed his beloved mate.

"Erestor, my love, where is the baby? Where is our little one? He said
in a panicked tone. "

Erestor eyed him suspiciously and then said, "what in the hell have
you been smoking? Did you let the twins talk you into drinking some of
the Mead that Gandalf brought, or have you been letting Celeborn give
you those special herbs again."

"I have neither been smoking, drinking, nor taking any herbs Erestor.
Just answer my question where is the baby?" he said in a tone matching
Erestor's.

"WE do not have a child Lord Glorfindel. If you remember correctly we
are two MALES WHO ARE BOUND. We." Erestor pointed back and forth with
his finger."Do not have babies. If you remember your anatomy class
correctly the two of us do not have the equipment to bring forth a
child. We are two males remember. That means no children ever unless
we bring a female into the relationship or adopt. We prefer males
remember? We are gay, homosexual, we play only
with other males, we play for the female's side, and we play a
different version of hide the sword. Do I make myself clear LORD
GLORFINDEL?"

Glorfindel just nodded his head. He then decided to speak up one last
time before he started to grovel for Erestor's forgiveness. He knew he
had hurt his feelings a little bit even though he would never admit to
it, but for the sake of peace he would appease the Gods where Erestor
was involved.

"No children?"

"Nope!"

"I am sorry."

"I know. You just want sex now," Erestor said sadly.

"No I don't. I am really sorry. I just had this horrible dream, and it
is not that I don't want or would not want children with you, it is just really
weird. Please forgive me, and I will do that thing you like.

Erestor started to smile again and started to let Glorfindel do his
special little thing that he knew the Balrog Slayer did just for him. He
would play his harp for him until he feel asleep, but not before he gave
Erestor the best energy sapping orgasm of his night.

Glorfindel went over to gather his harp and then back over to his mate
and started to play a merry tune on his lover, and then his second
lover. As the two elves fell into reverie, and the only the soft
sounds of night could be heard.

"That was mean Namo." Yavanna said.

"It was wasn't it. That makes up for having to hear the Balrog story
several thousand times when he was in my halls."

"You could have released him sooner."

"True, but then he would not have met Erestor. The one you blessed
long ago."

"So you did it for Erestor and me?"

"Not really. Just for him. He was way too serious for his own good.
And his parents seemed so nice."

Yavanna smiled as she watched the two sleeping elves. She walked over
and picked up Glorfindel's harp and put it out of harms way. She
gently caressed and kissed the two elves foreheads, and left the chambers
the way Namo had gone.

Just you wait my dear Namo. You will hate the day when you wake up
by yourself in a human encampment naked, she thought to herself.

And with that she left, asking Lorien to send sweet dreams to the two
elves.

The End