Title: No Longer
Author: Mythical Rhythm
Pairings: Erestor/Glorfindel
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Glorfindel is tormented by nightmares, triggered by
thunderstorms, reliving his death. Erestor tries to help his friend.
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Professor Tolkien. No copyright
infringement is intended. I make no money from this story!
Warning: AU
Beta read by slayer9649
All remaining mistakes are mine.
Feedback: yes, please
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With a sigh Erestor accepted the stack of papers that still needed to
be signed and posted before tomorrow morning. With Elrond in
Lothlórien and not expected back for a few days yet, the task of
signing the trade agreements fell to him. The weather outside mirrored
his thoughts, it was storming, thunder and lightning chasing each
other in the sky. The rain was pouring against the windows, cold
drafts were roaring down the chimneys, making everyone shiver. Another
sigh. Shaking his head he turned towards the clock, almost midnight.
Almost everyone was free of duties at this time of the night, able to
relax with a glass of wine in front of the fireplace. Erestor looked
wistfully around his study. Reaching for the next paper he stopped
when he heard a chilling scream.
Glorfindel.
With a grimace he got up from his chair and poured himself a glass of
wine. Glorfindel had always had trouble with thunderstorms. He had
never known what exactly the problem was, for Glorfindel, though kind
and generous, could be very prideful. Only Elrond had been admitted
into his rooms during such times. Others had tried but never
succeeded. Shivering, he turned to look out of the window. The wind
was blowing the rain so hard against it that he was barely able to see
through it. As lightning graced the sky once more, yet another scream
echoed through the Last Homely House. Frowning, Erestor wondered what
was taking Elrond so long. Looking back at the stack of papers, he cursed.
Wine glass dropping forgotten on the floor, he ran out of his study.
Those who had not yet turned to their beds looked up in surprise to
see Elrond's normally stern and calm Chief Councilor flying down the
halls.
Gasping, he arrived at Glorfindel's rooms. Raising his hand to knock,
he called out.
"Glorfindel!" With no sounds coming forth except for the rumbling sky,
he tried again.
"Please answer me, Glorfindel!" Still nothing.
Groaning in frustration, he carefully opened the door. Peeking around
the corner he found that Glorfindel was nowhere in sight. Opening the
door further he stepped inside. It was completely dark, apart from the
lightning occasionally lighting the room. Never having been in
Glorfindel's rooms before, Erestor recognized it as a study. Moving
towards what he supposed was Glorfindel's bedroom, he hesitated. He
was about to violate someone's privacy, and it did not sit well with
him, but then again, was he to leave Glorfindel to his torment? No, he
decided, he had been alone himself far too often. Silently he entered
the room, which was indeed the bedroom. With a puzzled expression he
searched the room; chairs had been thrown around, the bed was a mess,
but still no Glorfindel. Wearily he moved around, stopping when he
heard a whimper. "Glorfindel, my friend?"
Glancing around his eyes finally came to rest on the closet. Muffled
whimpers and sobs seemed to come from within.
With a shaking hand Erestor opened the closet door. Tunics and robes
met his gaze and finally at the back, Glorfindel. Had the situation
been different Erestor would have found it very amusing that the proud
Balrog-slayer was hiding in a closet. However, seeing Glorfindel's
face, white with terror and anguish showing in his eyes his eyes, made
him swallow.
Hard.
He had no idea of what he should do now that he had found Glorfindel.
All kinds of scenarios had played in his mind during the mad run to
Glorfindel's rooms and yet none of them had prepared him for this. His
golden friend, reduced to a whimpering mess.
As Glorfindel stared back at him he began to wish Elrond was there
with him, he would have known what to do. Outside it still hadn't
stopped storming and as Glorfindel caught sight of a flash of
lightning he cowered and screamed with a raw and haunted voice.
Erestor watched with panic mounting in his chest and did the only
thing that came to his mind; he stepped into the closet and closed the
doors.
It was dark and the only thing Erestor could see was the light glow of
Glorfindel's eyes. When Glorfindel started backwards he wondered if he
had made the right decision, at least his screaming had been reduced
to whimpering. Not that that was any better.
"Glorfindel?" Erestor reached out his hand. Glorfindel jerked back as
though scalded.
"Please.it burns.leave me alone!" he cried, folding his arms around
himself. Though he could no longer see the lightning and thunder, he
could still hear it.
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He moved, his back hitting the side of the mountain. A whip, cracking
at his shoulder. Gasping, he moved away from the heat. As the beast
roared and reached out with its claw, he cried out. He could endure
this no longer. The fire and shadow, as he remembered it, were too
real. He could no longer recognize friend from foe as his memories
pulled him further into delirium. For ages he had been fighting the
demon, partially with the help of Elrond, but never succeeding to make
it vanish forever.
Being shaken from his thoughts as the beast approached Glorfindel gave
it all he had. Blocking the blows, he screamed, realizing that he was
once more being pulled to his death. His body leaving the mountain, he
noticed that instead of burning, everything was cool. Then, everything
went black.
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Erestor glanced in surprise at his hand. Glorfindel now lay
unconscious in his lap after he had knocked him out. Glorfindel had
seemed possessed, warding off every attempt at comfort. Everything he
tried seemed to make it worse, even to the point of Glorfindel hitting
him in the head. Erestor's hand had apparently realized what his mind
had not, Glorfindel needed to be stopped. Clutching his head, Erestor
groaned softly. With Glorfindel's heavy weight now lying on his legs,
he began to notice that the closet was very uncomfortable. He wished
he could get someone to help him, but then he would have to leave
Glorfindel on his own and he wasn't about to do that.
Sighing, he resigned himself to a restless night as he pulled
Glorfindel up so his head was resting against his chest. His hand
skimmed over his friend's handsome features, the strong chin,
momentarily lingering on the full pale lips, then continued upwards,
the straight nose, wing like eyebrows and finally he raised his hand
to tangle in the golden tresses, now damp with sweat. While stroking
his hair, Glorfindel snuggled closer to him, completely trusting his
friend.
Erestor thought back on the last time he had held his friend like
this. It had been back in Gondolin. The city had already fallen and
the eagles had brought Glorfindel's burnt and dead body back from the
abyss. Erestor had broken down upon seeing his friend, bereft of life
so precious. He had cradled the body to his chest, wailing and
screaming for the Valar to return his friend. They had returned him,
but at a great price. Though Glorfindel had never told him, Erestor
knew he remembered his death. And he himself knew what it was like to
be reminded time and time again. He knew what it felt like to wake up
every morning and find an empty bed.
Shaking his head and pulling Glorfindel closer, he slowly felt himself
start to nod off.
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Stretching slowly, Glorfindel yawned. His eyes clearing, he took in
his surroundings. He found what had awoken him. Glaring light filtered
through from under the closet doors, and he buried his head in the
softness behind him. As if being plunged into a bucket of ice cold
water, he sat straight up. He had never slept straight through after
such a night.
Now hesitant to turn around and face what ever was behind him, he
willed himself to remember as much as he could of the past night.
It had started with the storm, it had made him remember. With Elrond
not around he had tried to keep himself sane for as long as possible.
He knew people thought him strong and brave, but as he had found out,
he was not invincible. He also knew he had given up, so why was he
still here?
Seeking answers, he turned around. To say he was surprised was an
understatement. He stared into Erestor's dark eyes which were glazed
over in sleep.
"Erestor." he murmured, not knowing why, except that he liked the
sound of it.
The cold advisor stirred, yet did not wake. Glorfindel grinned. Having
found the answer he turned around a bit more to observe his unexpected
saviour.
Erestor looked tired, though at peace. The night must have been very
uncomfortable for him, Glorfindel realised guiltily. Making up his
mind he carefully opened the closet doors and stepped out, with a lot
of difficulty, into the room. Bending over, he took Erestor into his
arms and carried him over to the messy bed. Taking a moment to
appreciate the beauty he took off Erestor's outer robes and shoes.
Slipping him under the covers, Glorfindel joined him a moment later.
Snuggling close once more he gripped Erestor tight, contentedly falling
into reverie.
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An hour later Erestor awoke, in bed, not alone, and with a happy heart.
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Fin.