Elladan came running into the rooms that he shared with his brother. "Elrohir, Elrohir! Grandfather has arrived!"

Elrohir excitedly jumped up from the chair he had been draped in reading. "Did the brothers come with him?"

"Yes they are here too." Elladan and Elrohir hastily put on their formal robes to help their father officially greet the contingent from Lothlorien. They donned their circlets and after checking each others appearance, ran down a maze of hallways and out the front to stand beside their father as the Lorien Elves arrived in the courtyard.

They glanced around quickly and saw Glorfindel and Erestor slowly walk up and took their places, followed by Erestor's first assistant. An oddity of an Elf in his tie dyed robes and dread locks.

The prim and proper Erestor had long ago accepted the fact that he could not convince Melpomaen to change his dress style, but appreciated the fact that Melpomaen was the best assistant he could ever ask for.

As the Lorien Elves dismounted from their horses, Elrond made his formal greeting. Once all formalities were said, the twins ran and threw themselves at their grandfather.

"Is all set?" He whispered in Elladan's ear.

Elladan nodded against his grandfathers shoulder and giggled. "Yes, in an hours time meet us at the usual spot." Celeborn nodded in turn then made his way to Elrond where the two exchanged pleasantries. Elladan and Elrohir formally welcomed the three Lorien brothers Haldir, Rumil, and Orophin. Knowing smiles were exchanged and then they were escorted to their rooms.

An hour later found Celeborn, Haldir, Rumil, Orophin and the twins awaiting the last person of their group...Melpomaen. All of them smiling when the hippie Elf finally arrived, carrying a strange square basket with handles on the side. He set the basket down and then he walked up to each individually, greeting them with one of his 'special' handshakes saying "Dude!" to each one. When he came to Celeborn he did the same and then stepped back taking in the sight of Celeborn's robes.

"Dude those robes are SO second age."

Everyone howled at this as Celeborn replied "That was a bit rude Melpomaen."

Melpomaen stepped back and said, "Dude, I was just yanking your chain man. You need to chill." He opened up the strange basket and there before everyone's eyes were bottles of Miruvor packed in ice. He pulled one out and passed it to Celeborn. "Here man, relax. Isn't Galadriel putting out anymore?"

Celeborn raised an eyebrow and stated, "You should not talk of the Lady like that Melpomaen."

Melpomaen waved a hand dismissively, "Dude, you should have seen her when she was three hundred years old. The chick was a freak man!" This was greeted with more howls of laughter.

Melpomaen then pulled from beneath his rainbow colored tie dyed robes a large muslin bag and some thin parchment paper. He hugged the bag to himself rubbing his face on it, eyes closed in bliss. "So what do we have here my precious? What's your name?" Everyone snickered when he answered himself. "Purple sticky punch."

Well, they'll stone ya when you're trying to be so good,
They'll stone ya just a-like they said they would.
They'll stone ya when you're tryin' to go home.
Then they'll stone ya when you're there all alone.
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get stoned.

Everyone watched as he started rolling the first fat one of the day. He passed it to Celeborn and said, "My Lord Dude, will you do the honors?" Celeborn reached forward and took a small stick from the fire they had built beforehand and brought the flame up. Taking a deep drag and holding the smoke in his lungs, savoring the taste of the odd looking herb that grew in the remote town of Humbolt. Everyone giggling when he started choking.

He passed it to his left and watched as Haldir took a hit stating, "Wow, that's some good shit man."

Melpomaen nodded as he rolled another one to get going and said, "Yeah dude, the guy that grows this has been growing it for years. Perfecting the soil and cross pollinating several different species, man. Some of his plants are so huge dude! With limbs the size of orcs, dude!"

Melpomaen lit the one he had just rolled and took a deep drag from it. The other Elves watched in amazement as he kept going and going and going and....(well, you get the picture). He held it in for so long in his lungs that when he exhaled no smoke came out.

Well, they'll stone ya when you're walkin' 'long the street.
They'll stone ya when you're tryin' to keep your seat.
They'll stone ya when you're walkin' on the floor.
They'll stone ya when you're walkin' to the door.
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get stoned.

Soon they were all sitting around, blissful smiles on their faces, every once in a while 'Dude' escaping their lips softly...taking swigs off of Melpomaen's special micro brewed Miruvor. Orophin, who was getting stoned for the first time, lay on his side in a fetal position, drool slowly dribbling from the side of his mouth.

Melpomaen lay back and everyone followed his example. They all lay looking up at the clouds scuttling past in the blue sky above them. "Dudes, have you ever thought that our universe is contained in a box? I mean dudes, what would be outside of that box?"

Haldir looked to the advisor and said softly, "Whoa, heavy. Never thought about it like that."

Melpomaen continued on. "Have you ever thought about your own mortality? I mean we live forever man, we don't get sick. But, you can be walking in the woods one day and BAM! An orc arrow comes out of nowhere and then where would you be man?"

When he shouted the word bam, all of the Elves jumped and Orophin who was still laying on his side drooling started to whimper, muttering something incoherent. Rumil punched him in the leg and said, "What did you say man?" Orophin sat up, mumbled something again and then fell over unconcious.

Melpomaen looked at him in shock. "Dudes, what's wrong with him man? He's such a light weight. Haven't you ever partied with him before?"

Elladan spoke up, his high mellowing his voice. "Chill Mel, it's his first time."

Melpomaen shook his head. "Damn man, don't tell me to chill dude. Everything's cool. Just makes me wonder if he's half orc or something." He started giggling at his own joke.

Haldir stood unsteadily to his feet. "He's my brother man. You take that back." He started to get belligerent, glaring down at Melpomaen who also stood. "You are talking about my family now. You take that back."

Melpomaen held up his hands in a peaceful manner. "Dude, I was only joking. You need to chill man."

"You take that back. Do you think you can take me on? Me? The Captain of the March? Go on then, hit me. Try and hit me."

Haldir kept pushing and pushing until finally Melpomaen punched him in the face. Haldir fell on his butt and everyone looked at him in shock as he looked up at Melpomaen with the same look on his face. "I can't believe you hit me man!" Everyone gasped when Melpomaen had done so.

Melpomaen shrugged, sat back down and passed another fat one around, handing it to Haldir first. "You told me to man!" Then to everyone's shock Melpomaen lapsed into normal speech. "My dear March Warden, do not be so lax in your thought that you are the only warrior who graces this circle. Remember some of us here were warriors long before you were even an itch in your daddy's leggings."

Melpomaen's eyes grew wide with horror as he shook his head and then pounded lightly on it, "Whoa, what the hell was that? Out you demons of normality." Everyone broke out in howls of laughter, including Haldir who pulled Melpomaen into a hug.

"Did everyone ever tell you, I love ya man!"

Melpomaen pushed Haldir back and looked him in the eye. "Dude, you ain't getting any of my Miruvor. Go get your own."

They'll stone ya when you're at the breakfast table.
They'll stone ya when you are young and able.
They'll stone ya when you're tryin' to make a buck.
They'll stone ya and then they'll say, "good luck."
Tell ya what, I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get stoned.

The younger Elves sat listening, Elladan and Elrohir especially as Celeborn started telling stories about the three wardens who he and Galadriel had raised. Celeborn started howling in laughter. Everyone talking him into telling yet another story.

"I remember one time, when I was out in the gardens I heard this cry of horror. I looked up to see Orophin running out from the kitchens a look of abject terror on his face. Behind him came Galadriel. He had put dye in her shampoo and turned her hair a really bright glowing orange. I'm talking you could have read in the dark her hair glowed so brightly."

By now the twins were rolling on the ground, Haldir joining them. Howling, trying to picture their grandmother like this. "She was so angry. You should have seen it! Her whole body was glowing green and fire was shooting from her eyes. Really scary man! Anyway, Orophin had just about made it around one of the great Mallorns when Galadriel stepped out the door, took two steps and released a small cast iron skillet. A perfect shot! The skillet hit Orophin on the back of the head, and knocking him cold and his body collapsed in some rose bushes. It took him a full week in the healing house to recover."

By this time everyone but the one who was being talked about (as he was still passed out) were rolling on the grass with laughter, clutching their stomachs. Rumil spoke up.

"I wish I could have been there, but I was training out on the fences." He wiped the tears from his eyes.

Melpomaen at this point sparked up another fatty and it was passed around the circle. Everyone sat chilling, enjoying their buzzes when suddenly they were interrupted. A dark robed figure with black hair and even blacker eyes came upon their little gathering. Melpomaen looked up and smiled. "Erestor dude! Why don't you come and join us man!"

The dour Chief Advisor to Elrond looked haughtily down their noses at them. "I do not think so." He sniffed disdainfully. Noticing but ignoring Celeborn making funny faces and imitating him in a mocking manner, causing the twins to chuckle.

"Dude, come on man! It's some really good shit!" Melpomaen wheedled knowing the look in Erestor's eyes as he took everyone in. Being privy to a few things the rest didn't know, but were about to find out.

Erestor excused himself and left. The rest of the group snickering. "Dudes, he'll be back trust me." Melpomaen said.

No one believed him. Imagine their shock when Erestor did come back, dressed in leggings and tunic, hair unbound. He carried a small basket with him. He nodded to everyone sagely and sat down next to Melpomaen. Everyone watched with jaws dropped as he took the joint from Melpomaen's fingers and took a long drag.

Well, they'll stone you and say that it's the end.
Then they'll stone you and then they'll come back again.
They'll stone you when you're riding in your car.
They'll stone you when you're playing your guitar.
Yes, but I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get stoned.

Soon everyone relaxed around the Advisor as they realized he was actually pretty cool. They listened in on he and Melpomaen's conversation as they discussed the mating positions of Dwarves.

Haldir joined in. "Nay Lord Erestor, I think they would mate in the fashion of the animals they are." With this he pushed his Lord into position to demonstrate. "They would mount from behind, not bothering to prepare their lovers. They would just push in and grunting, take their mates hard." He proceeded to demonstrate against his Lord. Everyone but Orophin who was still passed out, calling out ai's and nay's as he demonstrated rutting against Celeborn.

Erestor crawled over to where they were, pushing Haldir aside and flipping Celeborn over. He spread the Lord's legs and lay atop him. "Nay Haldir, I have done extensive research and what I have found is that this is their favorite position." As he started to demonstrate what he felt was the mating rites of the Dwarves, the rest continued to smoke. Now smoking from what Erestor had with him. A hooka pipe.

As Erestor continued to pretend to rut against Celeborn, and the others were busy taking hits off the hooka, they failed to notice their new company until a throat was cleared.

Everyone's eyes opened in horror, including Erestor's as they scrambled to their feet. Bowing low in respect to the Lord of the Realm and his Senschenal Glorfindel.

"El, My Lord! Dude! How they hangin'?" Cried out Melpomaen who had remained seated. Everyone looked incredulously at Melpomaen and then back to Elrond.

Erestor drew himself up and approached his Lord. Bowing he said, "Please My Lord, do not be too angry. We were just relaxing."

Elrond said, "I am not angry Erestor. Nay, I am very disappointed." Everyone's faces fell. All but Melpomaen's who kept smoking, and Orophin's who was still passed out. Erestor bowed again, his ears and face burning.

"Ai, I am disappointed. Why were we not invited?" Everyone's eyes opened wide. Elrond removed his formal robes and sat next to his Elladan who was holding the joint in his hand, staring in open shock at his father.

Elrond looked at his son and said, "Are you going to bogart that joint? Come on Elladan! Puff, puff, pass." Elladan with shock still written all over his face, glanced at his brother who shrugged. He looked back at his father, took a hit and then passed it to Elrond. Who took his hit and passed it to Glorfindel. Melpomaen opened up the basket and passed them each a bottle of his micro brewed Miruvor.

After taking a slug on the drink Elrond said, "Melpomaen, I am hiring you to be the new supplier of our Miruvor. Yours has a special something. What is it?" Melpomaen smiled.

"Ancient family secret Lord Dude! Can't tell you."

Elrond nodded, took another swig and then a hit of the hooka pipe. "This is some good stuff. Humbolt?" Melpomaen nodded.

Well, they'll stone you when you walk all alone.
They'll stone you when you are walking home.
They'll stone you and then say you are brave.
They'll stone you when you are set down in your grave.
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get stoned.

So the Elves sat around for several more hours...getting stoned, drinking, munching on the Lembas that Glorfindel happened to have in his pouches and talking the philosophies of life. Finally Haldir stood and made his excuses. All stood with him, picking up a finally waking Orophin between them. All but Melpomaen, Glorfindel and Elrond.

The three tried to talk the others into staying. The ones leaving making various excuses. 'We have patrol tomorrow.' 'We must rest up for tomorrow's festivities.' As they walked away they heard Elrond cry out. "PUSSIES!"

Everybody must get stoned.

end