Title: Bane of the Chamber Maids (1/1)
Author: Zhie
Rating: PG? (for the disgusting prospect of raw sewage)
Characters: Elrond, Glorfindel, Erestor, and two surprise mystery guest
troublemakers...
Disclaimer: Not mine, don't own them.
Summary: Hell hath no fury like a pair of counselors scorned.
Notes: One day, I'll learn to stay away from OneWord.com -- until then…… and
yes, this is PPB-AU, and yes, my Rivendell has primitive but working
plumbing & running water... not like those elves in Lothlorien who just piss
on the side of a tree...;)
"I think that is just the *loveliest* outfit I have ever seen you wearing,"
complimented the counselor, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Do you like it?" Glorfindel turned one way and then the other. "I rather
do, but brown just isn't my color. Now, on you," he said, motioning toward
Erestor, "it looks even more divine."
"Humph," growled Erestor, for there was little else to say. He made an
attempt to stand, but failed, and growled again as he slipped back down into
the mud.
Some distance away, Elrond backed off slowly. He wasn't entirely sure what
happened, or how it happened, but one moment he had seen Glorfindel and
Erestor crossing paths on the lawn, and the next, Glorfindel was flailing
his arms and ended up grabbing hold of Erestor's robes for balance. The
move did nothing to steady either of them, and moments later, two very dirty
elf-lords were sitting in the mud.
Which, now that Elrond thought about it, was certainly strange, as it had
not rained for days...
~~~
Meanwhile...
"You are beyond childish. You do know that, do you not?"
The elf in question simply shrugged, and peered once more through the slats
in the barn to see Erestor and Glorfindel struggling to find their footing.
"This is most excellent. I had never expected both of them to go down; I
hoped only for one. Come, have a look!"
"I most certainly will not," came the answer.
"You know you want to," returned the sing-song whisper.
Closing her eyes, Galadriel tried to remain annoyed. Curiosity got the
better of her as her husband let out a snort and she joined him, peering out
at the fumbling ellon. "You are bad," she scolded with a grin.
"I cannot help it - one must seize the opportunity when it is presented,"
explained Celeborn.
"Honestly. If Elrond finds out, he will never let us come here ever again,"
hissed Galadriel.
"Or, he will simply know where it is his sons get it from."
Celeborn and Galadriel turned around suddenly, startled at the voice behind
them. Elrond stood with his arms crossed over his chest, shaking his head.
"And everyone always blames the behavior of the twins on MY side of the
family," he muttered as he approached. "To the side, please," he said to
Celeborn. "You are blocking the view."
~~~
Back on the lawn...
"Erestor, do not turn around, but I do think the barn is laughing at us,"
whispered Glorfindel as he finally managed to right both himself and
Erestor, who was having to practically hang on Glorfindel lest he fall into
the mud again.
"Bloody robes," he complained as he nearly slipped again.
"Erestor, I think-"
"Yes, yes, we've been tricked, haven't we?" Erestor sighed, still speaking
low so that whoever was in the barn could not hear them. He continued to
act frustrated to cover up the scheming that began. "Did you know, there is
a valve in those fancy toilets that Elrond has in the guest rooms which, if
turned the wrong way, will actually cause water to rush back up the pipe
instead of out when you push the lever?"
"Erestor! My word!" Glorfindel scowled despite the fact he wanted to smirk.
"Such a devious mind you have! But were you also aware of the fact that the
guest chambers are the very last rooms on the plumbing system, and that
there is yet another switch that will route all of the other rooms that draw
from the water wheels right to the guest rooms?"
"This is going to greatly upset the chamber maids," mumbled Erestor, though,
he did not seem all that sorrowful as he and Glorfindel made their way back
to the house.
END