Title: The Paths Of Destiny

Author: zilah

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Glorfindel/Námo

Warnings: Angst, Character death (nothing too graphic)

Beta: Aglarien

Request: Romance, sunlight, a little bit o angst, The words 'sunlight

and shadow'. A picnic, a blindfold. Námo as a phantom lover at first.

Start pre-exile,finish post War of the Ring.

Summary: Námo knows that Glorfindel is his soul-mate but what happens

when the elf joins to the Noldor and follows them into exile?

Written for: El

A/N: This was an intriguing request, and this story is very different

from what I usually write. I hope you like the outcome.

And Thank you So much for your help, Agie. Without you, I was lost.

Feedback: Would be very much appreciated.

Enjoy,

zilah

THE PATHS OF DESTINY

Prologue: Of The Flight Of The Noldor (The Silmarillion, Chapter IX)

Araman, Year 4996, First Age

*

"They heard a loud voice, solemn and terrible, that bade them stand

and give ear. Then all halted and stood still, and from end to end of

the hosts of the Noldor the voice was heard speaking the curse and

prophecy which is called the Prophecy of the North, and the Doom of

the Noldor. Much it foretold in dark words, which the Noldor

understood not until the woes indeed after befell them; but all heard

the curse that was uttered upon those that would not stay nor seek the

doom and pardon of the Valar.

" Tears unnumbered ye all shed; and the Valar will fence Valinor

against you, and shut you out, so that not even the echo of your

lamentation shall pass over the mountains. On the House of Fëanor the

wrath of the Valar lieth from the West unto the uttermost East, and

upon all that will follow them it shall be laid also. Their Oath shall

drive them, and yet betray them, and ever snatch away the very

treasures that they have sworn to pursue. To evil end shall all things

turn that they begin well; and by treason of kin unto kin, and the

fear of treason, shall this come to pass. The Dispossessed shall they

be for ever."

"Ye have spilled the blood of your kindred unrighteously and have

stained the land of Aman. For blood ye shall render blood, and beyond

Aman you shall dwell in Death's shadow. For though Eru appointed to

you to die not in Eä, and no sickness may assail you, yet slain ye may

be, and slain ye shall be: by weapon and by torment and by grief; and

your houseless spirits shall come then to Mandos. There long shall ye

abide and yearn for your bodies, and find little pity though all whom

ye have slain should entreat for you. And those that endure in

Middle-earth and not to Mandos shall grow weary of the world as with a

great burden, and shall wane, and become as shadows of regret before

the younger race that cometh after. The Valar have spoken."

* * * *

The lonely figure watched the departing elves, his heart aching with

unbound pain. The Vala had fulfilled his quest and had spoken the

words that doomed the refugees to the mercy of an unknown destiny, and

in doing so he had broken his own heart beyond repair. Among the

departing elves was the one who was destined to be the other half of

his soul.

Námo extended his hand, but the gesture was doomed to be in vain. His

love wouldn't see him, he wouldn't hear how his heart wept for him; he

wouldn't even know how much he was loved. Tears blinded his eyes, as

he saw the last glimpse of golden hair disappearing behind the

mountains that closed behind them. No one would ever be able to return

to Valinor using this same route.

Laurefindë hadn't taken part to the kinslaying, but nonetheless he

shared the same destiny with those who had. He had joined with the

others because his heart was young and he craved adventure. Little did

he know about the Vala and all that he had left behind before their

love had any possibility to become real. Laurefindë was still two

years away from his majority and from the day when Námo would have

been free to pursue him.

//Be at peace, my child. I have heard your pain and have listened to

your agony. There will be a day when you will find the cure. But there

is nothing you can do about it now. It was I who set the flame in

Laurefindë's heart because he is needed among his kin. He has a great

destiny before him and without him the fate of the Middle-.Earth would

be much darker.//

//I can guess that. Your light burns so brightly in him that I have

never seen anything like it. I feel empty and cold without him.// Námo

confided to his father because it was The One himself who had come to

console his son in his pain. A lonely tear made its way down Námo's

cheek, but his heart was at peace. He whispered his well wishes to his

love and then turned to leave.

* * * *

Gondolin, Year Of The Sun 510, First Age

*

"Nai tielyar nauvar laiquë arë laurië. Haryalyë melmenya, Laurefindë

(May your ways be green and golden. I love you, Laurefindë.)"

Glorfindel's dreams were once again restless. Little rest did he find

in slumber, as his nights were constantly plagued by nightmares and

unnamed longing. Lately, the dreams had become more vivid and

Glorfindel's heart was heavy. He felt that something terrible would

happen, soon.

"Why am I seeing these dreams? Why do I have the feeling that

everything I hold dear is going to disappear at any moment? Am I

seeing into future? Is it possible that my beloved Ondolindë

(Gondolin) is going to fall under Flame and Shadow?"

Glorfindel tossed about for one more moment until he finally gave up

and rose from the bed. It seemed that the slumber was even more

elusive on this particular night. He looked out of the window, feeling

lonely and tired. The nightmares weren't the only thing that bothered him.

"Why I am still alone, even when all of my friends have found love and

happiness? Why I feel so empty and incomplete, as if no one would ever

love me?" Glorfindel thought again, his heart aching. The only

consolation he had, the voice that whispered to him in his dreams,

telling that he was loved. But even that felt like a poor, pitiful

substitute now, when he was alone with his thoughts. Tears of

loneliness and hopeless longing flowed from his eyes and he did

nothing to stop them.

The painful truth was that Glorfindel had never had a lover. No one

had never wanted to warm his heart and bed, and finally he had begun

to think that he would be alone for all eternity.

* * * *

"You have to help me, brother. I cannot see him thus; his heart is

breaking, and along with it, mine too. There has to be a way..." the

Vala begged.

"And what will you do, even if I fulfilled your wish? You know that

nothing of it would be real, but only a dream, doomed to be forgotten

in the morning. Besides, his time is near. You will be reunited with

him soon," the other one sighed.

"I don't care. I just want to ease his nights, even if he forgets me

between them. I would do anything to see his beautiful smile again.

Anything! And haven't I waited enough? Or Laurefindë? He has had no

one, even if he is the most beautiful of all the Eldar."

"All right, I'll help you. But remember this: you are not allowed to

reveal your true identity, nor that you are his destined soul-mate.

The doom of Ondolindë (Gondolin) is upon them, and Laurefindë has an

important task to do," Irmo, the Vala of the Dreams reminded his brother.

Námo nodded, " I am ready for anything. You know this."

"Are you really? Do you know what else you have to go through if you

want to accomplish your crazy plan?" Irmo muttered darkly.

* * * *

Glorfindel saw the familiar dream, but this time something was

different. The voice was more powerful, and he felt a strange presence

that he had never felt before. There was one more thing about the

voice that Glorfindel feared to admit even to himself: it was deep and

melodious, teasing his nerves in a way that made him hot and restless.

He could also hear affection in it, as if the unknown speaker knew him.

"Nai tielyar nauvar laiquë arë laurië. Haryalyë melmenya, Laurefindë."

"Why are you calling me with that name? We are far from the shores of

Valinor," Glorfindel wondered aloud, and to his astonishment, the

voice answered him. That had never happened before.

"You will always be Laurefindë to me, melmë (love), no matter what

others call you. You left me behind when you left your home,

Laurefindë. Even then I loved you, but I could do nothing because your

destiny lies here in Middle-earth."

"Why haven't you come to me, if you love me? I have heard you all

these years and I have yearned for you more, but still I am alone,"

Glorfindel asked, silently hoping that his unknown companion would

reveal himself.

"I have my own duties to fulfil. Only in your dreams could I reach you

to ease your loneliness."

"What has changed? Why are we having this conversation if you have

never before answered me?"

"Because I felt your pain, Laurefindë, and I don't want you to be sad

and lonely anymore. All I want is to make you happy, melmë."

Glorfindel's breath caught at that. He knew that his dream-suitor must

be very powerful; he could feel it. He could also hear deep emotions

in that voice and he felt something stirring in him.

"I want that too. But I would like to see you," Glorfindel said

slowly. The short silence followed his words, but finally he got the

answer.

"Turn around, Laurefindë. I am waiting for you." The voice whispered,

and Glorfindel could hear a nervous anticipation in it. He hesitated

for a moment, but finally he turned around and found himself looking

into the most beautiful face he had ever seen.

* * * *

Glorfindel could only stare at the amazing vision before his very

eyes. The creature was very elf-like, but something told Glorfindel

that he was more than that. His raven hair spread wildly over his

shoulders and back, reaching his waist, and he had captivating dark

eyes and the smoothest skin Glorfindel had ever seen. He wore only a

thin, dark robe that clung to his body in a way that made Glorfindel

ache with sudden need to have this creature as his own.

"Who are you?" Glorfindel asked with the breathless voice.

"I am not allowed to tell you, Laurefindë," the creature said,

suddenly saddened.

"I know that you someone important, and much more powerful than me.

Why me? Why would you choose someone like me?"

The creature now had a soft smile upon his lips and he extended his

hand, gently touching Glorfindel's cheek. Glorfindel shuddered, and

even if the touch wasn't meant to be erotic, it still managed to set

his soul and body aflame. He realized that he was looking his destiny

in the eye.

"I chose you, because you are beautiful. It is not only your

appearance that is stunning, but Ilúvatar's light shines upon your

face so that everyone near you can see it. You are the most amazing of

all His children, melmë."

"I could say the same about you. I have never seen anyone as beautiful

as you," Glorfindel breathed, instinctively stepping closer. He didn't

resist as strong arms drew him close and into a first,

earth-shattering kiss.

* * * *

Glorfindel leaned weakly against his lover, completely breathless and

flushed. For the first time in his whole life, he felt safe and loved.

He trembled as his lover gently caressed his hair and back, all the

while whispering how much he loved him. He didn't resist as his lover

lifted him up and carried him to the bed. Glorfindel couldn't think;

he didn't even start to question where they were or where the bed had

came from. The only thing that mattered to Glorfindel was the

intoxicating closeness of his lover and the fire that burned in his

veins. Dark eyes stared at him lovingly, as gentle hands undressed him

slowly, finally baring him completely for his lover. Glorfindel tried

to fight against the urge to cover himself when dark eyes roamed over

his body for the first time. Flushed, he turned his eyes away, but his

lover would have none of it.

"Look at me, melmë. I want you to look at me and see how much I love

and want you. I want only love and bliss between us, but no fear or

shame."

"I don't fear you. I want you," Glorfindel whispered with the courage

he didn't know he had. Without hesitation, he extended his hands and

began to undress his lover, suddenly eager to see him completely.

Nothing could have prepared him for the glorious truth when the

raven-haired creature finally lay before him beautiful and naked. Dark

eyes burned into him invitingly, and Glorfindel leaned into his

lover's arms for the first time. He gasped, surprised, as he found

himself atop his lover and met the other's gaze questioningly.

"I cannot take you now, Laurefindë. We must go our separate ways in

the morning, and the after-effects of taking you would cause you to

remember this night. In the morning, you will have peace in your heart

but no memories of me," Námo said, his heart aching. He craved making

Laurefindë as his own, but he wasn't allowed to do that, not yet. He

tried to soften his rejection with his caresses, but nonetheless he

could see his lover's disappointment. At that moment, Námo finally

understood Irmo's enigmatic words to him and he knew the solution.

"But how then... I want you so much! I want to make love with you no

matter what," Glorfindel said, fearing that his beautiful dream was

about to change into a nightmare and he would be alone once more. At

his utter relief, his lover didn't seem to have any such intentions.

Instead, the raven-haired creature held him, caressing him gently.

"We will make love, melmë. You will have me, if that is your wish,"

the soft voice whispered to Glorfindel, and the elf melted into the

sensual embrace.

Námo hadn't planned to yield that night, but he did so nonetheless. As

he had sworn to Irmo, he was ready to do anything to make his beloved

happy. And so Glorfindel made love to his soul-mate without even

knowing his true identity. If he had known that it was the Vala of the

Dead who yielded to him so sweetly, he might have been frightened or

at least hesitant, but now he claimed the raven-haired beauty with

breathtaking force and passion. When they finally laid in the

aftermath in their shared bliss, Glorfindel whispered his wish to be

with his lover forever. Námo hid his tears and forced himself to

answer, "Our time will come, but not now, melmë. I will wait for you."

* * * *

Glorfindel woke in the morning feeling completely different. It took a

while to think of what had changed, but finally he realized several

things: he wasn't tired, but felt alive and ready to begin his day.

For the first time in decades he had slept peacefully, without

nightmares tormenting his dreams. And it became obvious that he had

found release in more than one way; for the first time since his

majority, he had spilled his seed.

For some unknown reason, this didn't make Glorfindel embarrassed. He

grinned, feeling like a youngling after his first experience in the

ways of love. He bathed and dressed, and for the first time in years

he felt peaceful, almost happy.

* * * *

All around Glorfindel noticed a change in him. The Lord of The Golden

Flower had always been aloof, but there had always been a noticeable

sadness in him too. The truth was that despite his kindness, Lord

Glorfindel seemed unapproachable to others, and no one had ever dared

to pursue him. His new happiness didn't change that fact but many

rejoiced secretly for the lonely Lord.

The days went on and Gondolin's time finally came. Glorfindel had time

to enjoy his dreams only a few short months before disaster struck.

That evening, he settled to bed as usual and drifted to sleep, but

this time, his dream-lover didn't come to him.

In the morning, Glorfindel's heart was heavy, but even more was

coming. Wearily, he looked out and saw the terrible sight. In a

fleeting moment, he realized that the reddening sky was the mark of

their doom. The days of his beloved city were coming to an end.

Numbly, he dressed in his armour and took up his sword. He was fully

ready to defend his people until death. Hadn't he anticipated a long

time ago that this day would come?

* * * *

Cirith Thoronath, Year Of The Sun 510, First Age

The refugees struggled to get trough the secret way as quickly as

possible. The road was extremely dangerous, but it was the only way to

get away from the doomed city. At first it seemed that they had

managed to escape unnoticed, but soon their hope was cruelly crushed.

Orcs appeared all around them, and the last remnants of the warriors

threw themselves into battle. They managed to fight back for a while,

but all was lost when they saw their destiny coming in a form of Balrog.

Fire and Shadow and death were in the steps of this monster; it was

one of the most terrifying creatures Morgoth had created. Glorfindel

refused to give up, even if the strongest heart trembled before this

new threat. He commanded his friends to back up and stared his destiny

in the eye.

Long and hard they fought and many songs have been sung of their duel.

Long did Glorfindel manage to keep the monster at bay, but finally, at

the moment of the victory, his time had come to an end. Together they

fell to their death into the endless abyss, and many mourned the

valiant Lord who had sacrificed his life to save them.

* * * *

The Halls Of Waiting, Year Of The Sun 510, First Age

Glorfindel walked trough the misty road, and in his heart was peace.

He knew that he was dead. He had to be after that fall, but he didn't

care. Something was about to happen; something that would change his

life forever. He could feel it. Absent-minded, he wondered if anyone

had ever made his way to the Halls of Waiting with a smile on his face.

"Come to me, melmë. You have been sorely missed."

Glorfindel broke into a run and launched himself into his lover's

arms. Again and again they kissed until they both were flushed and

breathless.

"Take me home, melmë. I want you to take me and make yours forever,"

Glorfindel whispered, and his heart sang.

* * * *

"I have waited for this moment for so long," Glorfindel admitted, as

Námo gently lowered him on the bed. Despite his nakedness, or the fact

that this was his first time, he wasn't afraid. It didn't bother him

at all that his soul-mate was a Vala, and the one whose reputation had

always been awe-inspiring. With him, to him, Námo wasn't the Doomsman,

but the one who was meant for him.

"I have waited as well, more than you know," the Vala sighed, as he

settled beside Glorfindel and took him in his arms.

"Oh... this feels so much better than in my dreams," Glorfindel

whispered with a breathless voice. He shivered as their bare bodies

pressed together and he could feel Námo's arousal against his belly.

An almost painful desire arose in Glorfindel's heart; how he longed

for the moment when he would feel his lover within him!

Glorfindel forgot everything else as the true owner of his heart

slowly proceeded to claim him. Without hesitation, he opened up to his

lover and moaned his name as the possessive kisses and caresses continued.

"So beautiful... I have longed to see you in this way, lying upon silk

and satin, naked and burning for my touch," Námo breathed, letting his

gaze wander on Glorfindel's writhing body. Sapphire eyes shone with a

silent plea and the Vala knew that he would never see a sight more

beautiful. He bent down, and broken cry echoed in his ears as he

tasted Glorfindel for the first time.

Glorfindel was incoherent with desire. Moans and gasps escaped from

his lips as his arousal pulsed in the tight heat of Námo's mouth.

Without even knowing it, Glorfindel spread his legs wider allowing his

lover access to his most private part. Slowly, the probing digit

pushed in, finding a sensitive spot inside him. Glorfindel cried out

his lover's name as his world shattered into white-hot waves of bliss.

He tried to gather his wits after a mind-blowing orgasm, as Námo

gently settled atop him.

"This is it, melmë. You are mine now, Laurefindë," the Vala whispered,

and Glorfindel cried out as he was slowly filled. Námo too moaned in

bliss as he sank further into the willing body and set a slow but

satisfying pace. He looked at Glorfindel's face that glowed with

happiness and love.

Nothing had ever felt so right to Glorfindel as Námo in his arms,

within him, filling him in a way no one had ever done before. He clung

on to Námo's raven hair, seeking his lips, and they kissed hungrily,

pouring all the love they had for each other into it. Glorfindel lost

all control as strong fingers wrapped around his aching arousal,

stroking him at the same pace as the Vala's thrusts. He cried out in

bliss, releasing his seed over Námo's hand and his own stomach. The

Vala shuddered in his arms, as Glorfindel felt his completion pulsing

into him. Their bond sizzled and sparkled in the air, finally wrapping

around them both like a warm, protective blanket. Glorfindel wept with

joy as he held his mate's languid body in his arms.

"I am Laurefindë once more, and I love you forever," he whispered.

Námo met his gaze and he saw the dark, beautiful eyes shining with

same emotion as his own: love and contentment.

* * * *

The Halls Of Waiting, Year Of The Sun 1000, Third Age

Laurefindë stared at his lover, completely devastated.

"You cannot mean that! Why are they doing this to us? Haven't we

already had our share of suffering?" he asked, as tears began to flow

from his eyes.

"I wish I knew the answer to that, but you are needed once more,

melmë. The Shadow in Middle-earth is rising once more, and we cannot

leave them on their own," Námo said softly, feeling his heart break

with the thought of their nearing separation. Laurefindë was his

sunshine, the mate of his heart, and without him the Halls of Waiting

would be a place full of shadows and agony.

"Will you visit me? I don't think I can live completely without you,

no matter how badly they need me," Laurefindë whispered.

"I will. It seems that I will be your dream-lover once more. But this

time you will remember me in the morning. Come to bed, melmë. Let me

love you once more before you leave," Námo said. He needed to fill his

senses and thoughts with his beloved so that he would bear this

separation.

* * * *

The Great Sea, Year Of The Sun 3021, Third Age

Glorfindel stood on the deck, looking longingly to the West. His

second life had been plagued by grief and hopeless longing, but he had

finally fulfilled his destiny, and his lover was waiting for him. The

wind sang in the ship's sails as they glided over the water towards home.

Glorfindel was so lost in thought that he didn't hear the approaching

footsteps. He almost flinched as the familiar voice of his Lord

suddenly addressed to him.

"You have changed, meldir. I wouldn't have been able to sneak up on

you like this earlier." Elrond chuckled and Glorfindel found himself

blushing.

"I have waited for this moment for so long," Glorfindel said slowly,

but didn't offer any other information to his nosy friend. In truth,

Elrond had been a good and extremely loyal friend, and Glorfindel

liked and respected him. The only feature that annoyed Glorfindel was

Elrond's habit of trying to play match-maker for him. It was beyond

Elrond's imagination that Glorfindel didn't need a mate beside him.

"You have had no one in your life, Glorfindel. Who it is, then, that

you couldn't forget after all these years?"

Glorfindel smiled, but his eyes were sad. "I have had 'someone' all

this time, as you put it. We just needed to separate so that I could

come back and serve you."

Elrond was astonished. This was a bit of information that he had never

received before. Glorfindel had always been extremely secretive about

his life. "Do you know that your lover is still waiting for you in

Valinor?" Elrond asked, and this time his voice revealed an echo of

old pain. Glorfindel's heart ached for his friend because he knew the

source of it. The half-elf had loved his wife, but he had been unable

to heal her. And Celebrían had left, saying that she wouldn't

wait for Elrond.

"He is waiting for me. There never was anyone else for either of us. I

have always loved only him."

"I am happy for you then. You deserve to be happy after all these years."

"So do you, Elrond. Go back to your beloved, before he becomes

worried," Glorfindel coaxed his friend and smiled, as Elrond flushed.

"Lindir is a miracle. I thought earlier that Celebrían was my

true soul-mate, the one whom I was meant to be with. But when he

came... and I knew that it was him who I waited all those years for,"

Elrond admitted.

Glorfindel's heart went out for his friend. Elrond too had had more

than his share of grief and loss. Without Lindir's love he would have

faded from his grief.

"Lindir is amazing soul. And he loves you with all his heart. Go to

him, and enjoy your happiness. I need to wait just a little longer,

but I know that my lover is waiting for me. The moment I step on the

shore, I will be in his arms," Glorfindel said, and this time Elrond

obeyed, eager to return to his beloved.

Glorfindel set his eyes back to the West, Elrond's words echoing in

his mind. It was true what the half-elf had said. He had recognized

the other half of his soul the very first moment they had met, and he

had loved Námo even before he knew his true identity. But now all that

was over, and his own, true identity was slowly dawning to him. Námo

always addressed him with his old name, even if he had been Glorfindel

for so long. Now he felt that the name Glorfindel belonged to Middle-

earth with the all he had left behind.

With a smile he whispered, "I am Laurefindë once more, and I am going

to home, to my beloved."

FIN.